InsaneJournal

Current mood:

crushed

Discarded
I'm exhausted.

Our oven is broken. Our microwave is broken. Leaving the stove top and BBQ the only thing we can cook on. I'm hungry, but I don't want to bother anyone to make me something when I'll probably fall sleep half way threw eating it. It's too much bother and I don't know how to cook very well on the stove top myself without instruction, and the BBQ just scares me.

Dad came home and we went out to get $50 of groceries. Not much, but something to put in the house and he promised to cook for me. Which I guess is good. I feel a little annoyed that he wants to be around me all the time and talk to me, but that was part of the argument we had 'him never being around'. I guess I miss my privacy and don't know what to say to him anyway. It's not like he asks or seems to give much attention into what I'm doing, so I can't talk to him about my stories and art the way I do with mom. That's really all I do right now besides occasionally go out with friends. Stories involving my friends I don't really want to tell, since they're really only interesting or funny if you were there.

Dad also got my grandparents to plan a 'going away party' which will be held at their house because neither my dad or I can afford to throw it ourselves. I have a feeling that my friend Robyn was going to try and do something similar, and I told my friends openly not to do such a thing since I wasn't interested. I don't think people understand me, or it would be easy to see why I don't want such an event or at least wouldn't want to attend one. Celebrating it without me is fine. Sure, I like to see my friends, but I have enough stress right now and I could use the time to be doing something else. I'm going to see them again, so why do I have to say goodbye?
It makes it seem like everyone's leaving me this way, cutting me off to go have my own adventure rather then being there to cheer me on.

I feel just like sleeping for the next week and maybe, somehow I'll wake up and this will all have been a dream. It feels like I could sleep for a week.