InsaneJournal

Current mood:

disappointed

ARG. You know when the oven is broken and you are left with a house that didn't have much food to begin with and now pretty much has only items left that can be cooked with the stove life can get a little irritating. WHAT THE FUCK?! I can understand my mother not being able to get involved, she's too far away and doesn't have either the money or the health to help us. But my dad, who is rarely here tells me that I need to pay for half of my new glasses I get a little pissed.

I have no money to move. None. I have $40 left in my bank account and will be damn lucky if that covers food until I get paid $200 on Wednesday. You know where that is going? Probably to pay for food unless I can sum up the courage to buy time on my phone and call my grandparents and ask for help. I hate getting them involved, but this is bullshit. I feel like ever since Dad decided to move in with his new girlfriend that he forgot about the family he is leaving behind. He still pays the rent, but that's it and I've only ever seen him pay a bill when we get a notice that it's about to be shut off. If he went to work like he's suppose to instead of going to belliville...ARG. - I know I'm not a good person to talk about working more, but I have my boss cutting me down to two shifts a week and nothing I can do about it.

He never asks if I'm afraid of school or want to back out, and I don't have a home anymore if I do decide to back out or anywhere that could take me.

I'm sure my boyfriend can tell how stressed out I am about this and is trying to be supportive, especially after I told him that my dad all but told me to find someone else to help me move. Apparently his promise to help take things up in the truck just as much bullshit as having him pay for college. I just, I hate asking people to help and do things, but I'm at a hole here.

The food I did buy barely lasted a week split between my sister, mat and myself. I could honestly just cry all the time being at home and sure everyone is annoyed with me telling them that I just want to move NOW and be where I know I'll be taken care of -.....

I feel like the stress of everything is getting in the way of Jay and my relationship, since I don't want to take out my frustrations on him knowing there's not really anything either of us can do at the moment. I want him to be happy, and his back to feel better after he pulled something. He also has his own problems and I don't want to be the person putting more on those strong shoulders.

I guess. I want my freedom of this place. Maybe I'll email Trevor? Even then I don't know.

I don't know what I'm suppose to do right now.