InsaneJournal

Current mood:

cold

Warning - Angry Ranting
Why the fuck am I so angry all the time? If the house is mess, if I draw something wrong, if eople kick me off the computer that I set and stare at endlessly while doing nothing anyway and I have to move rooms to do nothing THERE. If my boyfriend doesn't come over. If he does come over. If I can't get the list of things I want to do before I leave for Ottawa.

It's just constant. Maybe it's because my budget for moving has been spent on buying food and other things I shouldn't have to deal with until I actually leave and I'm pretty much broke. Maybe because even buying food, I'm still hungry all the time.

The guys at work said that I'm more likely to do something to ruin this relationship when it becomes long distance and that they don't think Jay will do anything and that has been nagging my mind for a while. Do I really come off as that type of person to everyone? I'd hate that.

I so badly wanted moving and going to school to be my thing. This my time to be excited and not have to worry and boil down over other stupid things that are going on at the same time, but no...My dad has to move at the same time and take away the home I've had for over EIGHT YEARS at the same time. It hurts to know that I don't have anywhere to come back to if I should back out of school, or if everything goes to hell and I fail. >< God. I just want to cry when I think about that. It's really pathetic.

I think I'm mostly angry because the friends I have to talk too are so far away, and when I do talk to people here I don't get a response.

Maybe I'll call my aunt and try talking to her tomorrow, or my mom. I know they have anger toward my dad and might be able to come up with something to do as a back up plan.

I already sent an email to ask Trevor if he minds me paying rent when OSAP comes in September. I hope that's okay, cause otherwise I'm not going to be able to move and will be homeless.


Oh life, When will you learn that I've had fucking enough.