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[27 Apr 2009|05:17am] |
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mood |
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About two hours before work I found out my mother had gone to the hospital and was in critical care. Unable to keep anything down including water and having very poor blood test results from the week prior that the doctor had requested her to come in immediately to solve leads me to think the worst of things. I know I can't do anything more then sit here and wait, but it's driving me nuts and I can't keep my mind off the worst case scenario.
It would be easier if I could break down and cry in front of my dad, instead of pulling off the 'everything is going to be okay' look that I usually can case in even the worst of times. But he just seems so careless and didn't mention anything when I played the voice mail of my almost sobbing aunt on speaker-phone. I always have speakerphone on because I'm too lazy to turn it off. It's his favorite person on that side of the family too,..... I know my parents are separated, though technicality not divorced do to not finalizing paper work, but arg. I don't know. I want to know that someone other then me in this family gives a damn what happens.
Text Robyn, one of my best friends since early childhood and the bf at the same time to tell them and immediately Robo told me she was walking home. These two are my saviors.
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| To Write Love. |
[27 Apr 2009|04:21pm] |
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mood |
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 apathetic |
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Mom is in the hospital and will be kept in ICU for a week under observation while doctors from toronto, peterborough and belleville conference to find out what exactly is wrong with her and how they can fix it.
I'm still in a state of fear and wish I could go see her, though going to wait until tomorrow to ask jay to drive me since I don't think dad will, or that he will be good company. Robyn wants to come along with me, so at least I'll have one person really close.
I need her to be okay and to live longer. It's selfish, but that's the way it is. I didn't give up half my childhood and later teens fighting to keep her alive and safe to give up and lose her now.
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[27 Apr 2009|08:18pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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My bf is taking me and Robyn, my best friend to see mom tomorrow in Belleville.
In the meantime I'm watching Nabari no Ou, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, and Soul Eater.
If you know any other anime that is interesting and you'd think I'd like, please let me know. I haven't found that many new shows to watch lately and feel bad about that.
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